This morning I arrive on time, 1000hrs; to a scheduled appointment with a client.
Aside
Over the past nine months, I’ve been working with this guy and he absolutely insists he knows Manila and the Philippines very well. Needless to say – I waited till 1200hrs to discover he still hadn’t figured out how to use a Philippine Cell phone nor did he know how to tell a taxi driver or ask Security Guards how to get to ‘The Fort’. The Fort is one of Manila’s most hyped-up developments because streets are paved and you dont step in raw chemicals while crossing streets. There are no sights of lovely jeepneys, no vendors who you can buy cigarettes by the single. No Sari-Sari stores you can get phone credits in an instant, No Buko Juice Vendors. In other words it lacks everything I love about this country. Funny, in this developed, “New Manila” you can not see the pure unfettered capitalism in action. You only see ‘controlled capitalism’. I’m getting way off topic here. Maybe I’ll write on that topic later.
Back to Title
So, I’m waiting for my client to show up. I’m sitting outside, in the smoking area of the Tea Coffee Bean Leaf in the Fort,
(which by the way the coffee taste like Bathwater, but it’s the only place in the fort open prior to 1100)
and this older gentleman, well dressed, tall, but looking confused, scared and lost takes a seat at the table next to me.
A brawny European accent directed at me, “Hello do you have the time?” – I notice he has a watch on. I bark back in my accent, Ya It’s 1030.
He then asks me, “So do you like this Country? Whats the biggest thing you dislike about this country?” I’m intrigued, so I answer, “Nothing. I love it here.”
Sweedish Guy: ” Yes, the people are very hospitable, ”
I’m thinking, what the hell happened with this guy, this is the usual bullshit of everyone is hospitable, of course they are. The people of the Philippines are world renowned for being hard workers, hospitable Catholics.
Sweedish Guy: “You know what I don’t like, my Sweedish Mobile provider Telia does not roam here to the Philippines.”
Me: “Oh yeah? Didn’t you check it before you left your country?”
Sweedish Guy: “No, I only came here for 10 days because the best friend of my wife is Filipina. She is a doctor and she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen?”
Me: “Oh yeah? Thats cool!”
Sweedish Dude: “Where is Ortigas, I have to get there? Can I walk?”
Mind you, we are in the middle of Tropical Storm Seven
Me: “Well, it’s definitely a long walk, and man it’s raining hard. Go walk that way (pointing) and get a taxi, they all know where Ortigas is, it’s 45 minutes max in this traffic”
Sweedish Guy Looking disappointed and Worried
Me: “Whats up man? Please come have a seat.”
Me and Sweedish guy start talking about everything under the sun. What am I doing here, What does he do back home. Economic and Political News about Sweeden and Europe, differences between Americans and Europeans, talking about friends he has from America, friends I have from Norway and Switzerland. Then he corrects me to tell me Switzerland is not the same as Sweeden. I tell him most Americans are pretty ignorant towards Europe. We laugh.
Cut the small talk, the real problem comes to face. He states he’s going to Ortigas to the Visa Credit Card Regional Office because his wallet and credit card went missing. Add another five minutes of small talk, he reveals he left it in the taxi in the hurry to get out of the cab without getting wet. I ask him did you file a police report. He says yes, but then quickly asks, should I? I ask him again did you file a police report? He asks, does anyone ever return things here? I say hey man, you leave that amount of money ANYWHERE you are lucky you will see it again. To me it sounds like he can’t even afford the cab to Ortigas. He reveals he is a postmaster in Sweeden, loves his job, makes good money, and his wife needs to send him $4000 western union.
I recommend Xoom.com…
So I pull out my train card and tell him he can take the train. Show him the map on the back of the card. He incessantly worries it is not safe for him. I say, “come on man they have security, they check all bags and people for bombs and weapons.” He says, “I don’t have weapons!” I say, “Come on dude, It’s for your peace of mind – to make sure no one else has weapons” He now is look relieved. He asks me three times, ” how much is the ride to Ortigas?”. It’s getting clear this old honest man is in a jam. I give him my train card and ask him where is his umbrella. He says, “well, this morning i had a 69 peso burger at mcdonalds, and i forgot my umbrella there. I went back in and it’s gone, everyone is a thief here, I’m never coming to Asia again!”. I’m like, “Dude relax, this has happened to me at least three times, and it can happen anywhere, you need to keep your guard up, anywhere you go Mr. Postmaster.” I take a look at Old Man Hill Sweeden and he’s got goosebumps all over, this poor bastard. I pat him on the back a few times and notice I’m already late for my next meeting. People are strange, but I’m glad to help, and I hope he changes his opinion of this country because it is really lovely.
As he’s walking away, he asks “Why do they call it Market Market? Why isn’t it just Market?!? Why do they have to say it twice?!?!”
Man I had a good laugh on that one.
Peace